Crazy, or Stupid?

One of the most difficult things to do, these days, is to determine if someone is crazy or stupid.

There are more similarities than differences between crazy and stupid.

Stupidity includes ignorance, which is the driving force behind much of the rampant stupidity.

That being said, let’s look at how singing has been taught.

DIAPHRAGM BULL

Some people say to sing from the diaphragm, which is impossible. Ask your doctor, if you want the anatomical truth. Or, look in Gray’s Anatomy. It’s a book, not the television series, which is also entertaining.

Some people say to “use diaphragmatic breathing”. Is there another kind?

The diaphragm sucks, almost literally. It draws the air into the lungs when it contracts, like opening up a bellows. That is when the diaphragm muscle works.

When you exhale (are you sitting for this?), it is relaxed, NOT flexed and NOT working as muscles sometimes do. Muscles contract in one direction. The diaphragm doesn’t contract downward and then upward. It only contracts downward. Medical science has known this since the 1700s.

Is it time to catch up, or better to be crazy or stupid?

If you teach singing or if you are a vocal coach, don’t be 300 or more years behind the times, lying to people about what you are ignorant about. Now you have no excuse. It is not my fault. Don’t blame me. I didn’t design the human body or its breathing system. Ask your doctor. Ask a pulmonary specialist, if you want. Don’t be stupid. You have a choice. Research is not usually fatal.

Abdominal Abomination

Abdominal muscles and the ones between your ribs push out your air. The elasticity of the chest is sufficient to expel air, but the abs give it a “punch” or accent. The abs also increase your volume by accelerating the speed of molecules of air. You know that, of course. You know the ones: the flat muscles of the abdomen, the obliques, transverse, the rectus abdominis, the triangularis sterni, right? The internal intercostals assist (between the ribs).

You also use these muscles when you cough or sneeze. Aah-Chooooo! Bless you!

Just like every other singing teacher or vocal coach in the world, I did complete a class in anatomy from Harvard University, I read Gray’s Anatomy and consulted with 8 doctors, 2 speech therapists, and a few nurses, all of whom studied voice with me. They were actually grateful that I knew the function of the larynx and breathing, instead of forcing them into a fantasy world, where tall tales about things crazy or stupid live.

More Caca

It’s sad, but true. Here we go…

The innocent and unsuspecting singer walks into Wonderland, where the mad hatter greets her.

She walks in with her own voice and leaves with thinking she has three voices: Chest Voice, Middle Voice, and Head Voice. Don’t get me wrong here, Ethel! It’s not totally wrong to teach people that sound waves cause sympathetic vibrations in the head, neck, and chest, but it is of little or no use. It can be helpful, at first, but never think that a singer will take the sound emerging at 1,100 feet per second and direct it through their head or their knees! What? ! Have you never heard of “knee voice”? OMGosh!

One brilliant choral director at the University of Central Florida told the singers to “sing from the floor”. What?! Lie on your back and sing to the ceiling?

Another choral director, from the same school, told high school drama students to (are you sitting down?) “use your pee muscles to sing”. One of the students was well on his way to vocal nodules who had forced out his sound and irritated his vocal folds (stupid people still say vocal cords) that he lost his voice and had pain even when he spoke. I helped him with some lessons and he got a lead part in a musical at Lake Mary High School in Florida. Pain free singing? What a concept!

Stupidity abounds, but the truth can set your voice free.

Want to be free? Want to sing in your entire range, all connected and working for you without strain or pain? It’s not a fantasy. This is real life stuff. Those of us who have such freedom are very grateful to be free of cracks, doubts, insecurity and a lack of confidence in singing.